Sometimes life gets the best of us and we end up giving in to negative feelings, or feelings of frustration and hopelessness. As humans, we can often get stuck wallowing in our own sad sorry feelings for a little while. We lose sight of the special small moments because the big picture seems all too overwhelming and challenging. And hey, I’m human, I try NOT to go there, but I sometimes do. It happens. Life is a roller coaster ride, and sometimes we can handle it better than other times. But we have a choice – we have control over how we handle each situation put in front of us. We get to decide what we are going to do, how we are going to react.
Miloš’ schedule last week allowed us to have a few days together, and it was really wonderful. The last time we had that much consecutive time together was back in March before he started his season. And believe me, we got used to it again REALLY quickly. Then, we had four days apart. He was working and I was in Croatia with my roommate . (She has a place in the same town where Miloš is from. Yes, small and weird world, right?) I missed Miloš like crazy until yesterday when he came through Vienna again. But this time he was only here for 24 hours, before sailing away.
Last night when we went out, I was kind of distracted and not in the cheeriest of moods. All I was thinking was that we had such a short amount of time together this time. How it wasn’t fair. How after this short visit we would be having two and a half weeks apart. How I’m just frustrated that we’re still not able to be together every day, all the time. I unintentionally and temporarily got sucked in to this little mood vortex. I didn’t really realize what I was doing at the time, but it was happening nonetheless. Instead of just enjoying the moment, I was stressing about the upcoming stuff that I couldn’t control.
As per our normal routine when he’s in Vienna, Miloš and I got up early so we could get him back to the ship to start his first shift in the morning today. During that shift, I went back to my apartment to get some things done. And then when I went back to the ship to pick him up in the early afternoon to spend his break with him, I did so with a new attitude. NO dwelling on the upcoming time apart while we were right there together. I had to remember to be IN THE MOMENT. To just enjoy that time that we were having then. To just be together. Enjoy it. Experience it. Live it. And you know what? It was freakin’ awesome! It was in the upper 90’s Fahrenheit, and I was bordering on heat stroke, but there I was, walking around with a big ol’ smile on my face, just enjoying that time with my man. I surrendered to the moment and just let all that happiness take over. It might’ve been just an extra three and a half hours, but they were three and a half hours together.
And now, I’m back in my room alone, typing up this blog post. And his ship is sailing along the Danube, on its way to Budapest for the next stop, and then eventually all the way to the Black Sea and back.
Despite missing the heck out of him already, I’m actively trying to remind myself just how lucky I am. And it’s because I have someone who tells me and shows me that he feels like he’s the lucky one. I’ve never known or felt such love. He makes me happy, truly really genuinely happy. It’s amazing! I can’t imagine a better feeling, and I can’t imagine a better person in my life. This is the reason he and I do what we do, and why we keep working towards our goal of being together all the time. Every day. Just like “normal couples.” It’s not gonna be tomorrow, but it’s coming. And I can’t wait to get there!
(Of course, we need some wisdom from Pinterest….)