Life isn’t always glamorous. In fact, most of the time it’s not. Even when you travel the world, you also have days where you finish up your work, you’re by yourself in your room, and you’re watching old episodes of Golden Girls on Youtube.
It’s been a bit tough for me – the last week and a half. I came home from my short last-minute audition trip without getting the gig. I try to keep an upbeat attitude, but sometimes you just feel bummed out, ya know?
Then I got sick. Really sick. Essentially I’ve been dealing with one of the worst respiratory infections I’ve ever had. LAST weekend I had no voice. None. And throughout this past week, I’ve had coughing fits where I’ve wavered between hardly being able to breathe because every single breath made me cough, and coughing SO hard, I started gagging, and thought I might throw up. (Yucky, but true.) This has all resulted in me sometimes having mini temper tantrums in my bed at night out of pure frustration. I wonder if this is the kind of frustration that toddlers feel when they have temper tantrums….. hmmm…..
And on top of all of that, I just straight up miss my man. My positive way of thinking is that we are now in June, which technically means I get to see him next month. Although we have to wait until the end of July. BUT it’s less than two months now to go – we’re just about at the half way point now. The other day, I just got really emotional – thinking about Miloš and how much I was missing him. And in true dramatic Jen fashion, I felt the crying kick in. (I really am prone to crying, what can I say.) However, when one has a respiratory infection, crying is really not a good thing. Suddenly an extreme coughing fit kicked in. Coughing, coughing, coughing – it was bad. And so then, all I could think was, DAMMIT, can’t a girl just get a good cry on??? (Seriously, I just wanted to have a nice, let-it-all out, refreshing kind of cry. And I couldn’t even do that! Argh!)
For those of you out there who get to be with your special someone every day – I hope you all know how lucky you are! Looking at each other over a video call is great, and I’m SO glad we have this kind of technology…. but you just want so so much to reach out and touch the other person. Or give them a kiss. Or just smell them. Anything! Their face is right there in the screen…. it does sometimes feel like you could just reach right through the phone.
But alas, you just have to wait, as each day slowly takes you closer to when you’ll be together again. It might feel far away, but it’s coming.
So here I am going through the day in and day out….trying to piece together as much work as I can – booking some trips for clients, substitute teaching for the local school district (although there’s only two more weeks of school left), filling in for a voice teacher who’s away for a couple weeks, and working as a princess for some children’s parties. Next step is to find something else for when school is out. And hopefully I’ll be able to sing again soon – it’s KILLING me to not be able to sing, but this cough has me totally out of commission.
Nothing big. Nothing glamorous. Lately – kinda sucky.
Just waiting for my next adventure.